Sometimes I forget the huge differences between Lew and me. Especially where sex is concerned.
Sometimes I forget that he needs it more often than I do, and in vastly different ways than I do. I'm very comfortable with doing it the same way every time, with maybe an occasional twist in direction, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I should know by now that he has little favorite things that have nothing to do with modern, feminist - driven sex, but rather a Song of Solomon view of sex. Sex for him is an all-encompassing encounter that sometimes involves all five senses, sometimes only one. As it should be, as it is written in the Word of God.
I used to have a hard time with that, because I couldn't understand the need for any other kind of sex besides intercourse. But apparently it isn't always about intercourse. Husbands need to be affirmed sexually in different ways. They need to be felt, smelled, tasted, heard, seen.
My own husband needs sex in a completely different way than I do. To give him sex my way is to deprive him of something he needs - a desire God placed inside Him - a desire that I am supposed to meet for him. Once I got that through my thick skull and learned what to do, we developed a much more intimate relationship.
Just remember - It really isn't always about intercourse - it's about connection. It's about being willing to do the most intimate things possible to bless and bring pleasure to your own husband. That's what you agreed to when you said you would marry him.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
About That Titus 2 Woman ...
The aged women
likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false
accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
Alrighteee then, let's tackle this woman one piece at a time, shall we?
The aged women
Old ladies. These are the ones who have been married, who have been around the block. They know about stuff. They know how to cook, bake, clean, wash and iron clothes, give sexual pleasure (surely not - ummmm, surely SO),
likewise,
Whenever the word "likewise" appears in the Bible, you have to go back and see what came before it, so you have a comparison to "liken" it to. In this case, the previous verse is ....That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (v.4) In other words, the old ladies should be the same way the old me are.
that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
They should behave in a holy manner, devoted to the service of God.
not false accusers,
They must not be involved in gossip.
not given to much wine,
They shouldn't be drunkards. That is not to say that they should never touch the stuff, but that they should not drink in excess. Don't forget Jesus drank wine, and we are supposed to emulate Him, so ....
teachers of good things;
This shouldn't need any comment, but I suppose I should expound on it just a bit. The older women should teach nice things, not evil things. They should always model the best way to do something, and never be an example of what not to do.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
They should teach the young women about moderation. I believe this means more than just the consumption of alcohol. In today's world it must also be extended to drug abuse. The older women must instruct the youngsters about the evils of substance abuse.
to love their husbands,
This is where I get into trouble every time. These older ladies are not stupid, or naive, or innocent by any stretch of the imagination. They know about loving a husband. They know about giving pleasure to a man. Aaaannnd ... They are instructed, in this verse, to teach the young women how to love their husbands.
I don't believe this to include the nuts and bolts of household stuff like cooking and cleaning, as those things are covered in the next verse. Therefore, this must refer to things of a sexual nature. After all, a young wife will have questions that will need to be answered in a clear, no-nonsense way, without the shame that is so often attached to such questions. Here, the instruction is clearly given to teach these things to young women.
to love their children,
Every new mother needs help with the children. Frustrations arise with discipline, diet, and a whole host of other issues. God is clearly indicating that the older women must help the young women with their children.
To be discreet,
To avoid causing embarrassment to yourself of others.
chaste,
Don't sleep around. Duh.
keepers at home,
Young wives need to learn homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, etc. God's design calls for women to keep the home and men to earn the cash. That's the plan. We should get back to that plan, don't you think?
obedient to their own husbands,
The critical word here is "obedient." God does not mince words here. O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T to their own husbands. In my mind, this means the old ladies are supposed to be teaching the young ladies to OBEY their own husbands. Not someone else's idea of a husband. Each wife has a unique husband with unique ways, unique needs, unique desires. Each young wife should be instructed in how to obey her own unique husband, so that when he asks her to do something, no matter what it is, she is competent and able to do it to his satisfaction.
This may sound a bit archaic, but it is, in fact, the Word of God. And God doesn't put things in writing unless He expects us to obey Him.
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
If the older women teach the younger women these things, and the younger women pay attention, they will be showing respect for the Word of God. Otherwise, they are disrespecting their Creator. It may sound harsh, but like I said, He didn't put it in writing to have us ignore it.
That's what I'm studying right now. It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure I'll be a better wife for my own husband, and he (and God) will be pleased.
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
Alrighteee then, let's tackle this woman one piece at a time, shall we?
The aged women
Old ladies. These are the ones who have been married, who have been around the block. They know about stuff. They know how to cook, bake, clean, wash and iron clothes, give sexual pleasure (surely not - ummmm, surely SO),
likewise,
Whenever the word "likewise" appears in the Bible, you have to go back and see what came before it, so you have a comparison to "liken" it to. In this case, the previous verse is ....That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (v.4) In other words, the old ladies should be the same way the old me are.
that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
They should behave in a holy manner, devoted to the service of God.
not false accusers,
They must not be involved in gossip.
not given to much wine,
They shouldn't be drunkards. That is not to say that they should never touch the stuff, but that they should not drink in excess. Don't forget Jesus drank wine, and we are supposed to emulate Him, so ....
teachers of good things;
This shouldn't need any comment, but I suppose I should expound on it just a bit. The older women should teach nice things, not evil things. They should always model the best way to do something, and never be an example of what not to do.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
They should teach the young women about moderation. I believe this means more than just the consumption of alcohol. In today's world it must also be extended to drug abuse. The older women must instruct the youngsters about the evils of substance abuse.
to love their husbands,
This is where I get into trouble every time. These older ladies are not stupid, or naive, or innocent by any stretch of the imagination. They know about loving a husband. They know about giving pleasure to a man. Aaaannnd ... They are instructed, in this verse, to teach the young women how to love their husbands.
I don't believe this to include the nuts and bolts of household stuff like cooking and cleaning, as those things are covered in the next verse. Therefore, this must refer to things of a sexual nature. After all, a young wife will have questions that will need to be answered in a clear, no-nonsense way, without the shame that is so often attached to such questions. Here, the instruction is clearly given to teach these things to young women.
to love their children,
Every new mother needs help with the children. Frustrations arise with discipline, diet, and a whole host of other issues. God is clearly indicating that the older women must help the young women with their children.
To be discreet,
To avoid causing embarrassment to yourself of others.
chaste,
Don't sleep around. Duh.
keepers at home,
Young wives need to learn homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, etc. God's design calls for women to keep the home and men to earn the cash. That's the plan. We should get back to that plan, don't you think?
obedient to their own husbands,
The critical word here is "obedient." God does not mince words here. O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T to their own husbands. In my mind, this means the old ladies are supposed to be teaching the young ladies to OBEY their own husbands. Not someone else's idea of a husband. Each wife has a unique husband with unique ways, unique needs, unique desires. Each young wife should be instructed in how to obey her own unique husband, so that when he asks her to do something, no matter what it is, she is competent and able to do it to his satisfaction.
This may sound a bit archaic, but it is, in fact, the Word of God. And God doesn't put things in writing unless He expects us to obey Him.
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
If the older women teach the younger women these things, and the younger women pay attention, they will be showing respect for the Word of God. Otherwise, they are disrespecting their Creator. It may sound harsh, but like I said, He didn't put it in writing to have us ignore it.
That's what I'm studying right now. It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure I'll be a better wife for my own husband, and he (and God) will be pleased.
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