Okay, it's gonna be another sex post.
What do you do when your husband wants more in bed than you want to give him?
A: Let him live without it. He's a grown man and he needs to suck it up and live with disappointment for the rest of his life. This is a dangerous way of thinking. Husbands have needs and us wives were given to them as a helper, for this very reason (among others).
B: Tell him it's okay for him to find what he needs somewhere else.Even more dangerous. To bring a third party into the one-flesh union is not godly, is not biblical. DON'T DO IT. Besides, he wants you to "do him," not someone else.
C: Learn to reverence your husband and stop withholding something he needs. Defraud ye not one the
other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves
to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you
not for your incontinency. (1 Cor 7:5) Whatever it is, start doing it. If you don't know how, ask him to help you or read a book, but for goodness sake stop denying your husband something he is desiring.
That's my rant for today.
Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label needs. Show all posts
Friday, May 4, 2012
Friday, November 25, 2011
Leviticus 18:19
Also thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness. (Leviticus 18:19)
Obscure verse, I know. does anyone even read Leviticus anymore?
Well, um, yes. I do.
I never really gave this verse much thought in particular. Whenever I was menstruating and my husband wanted sex, I was game as long as he was. Neither of us bothered to think about the implications of what we were doing.
This verse clearly states that my husband is NOT supposed to delve into my nether regions when I'm menstruating. There are many Old Testament laws that were overturned or changed when Christ came to save the world. This law has not been changed.
But what if he need to release his sexual tension? What then?
Well, ladies, there are things you can and should do with your two hands and your two lips to relieve his tension.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
His needs do not decrease during this time, so it just isn't right to do nothing. As it says in 1 Corinthians 7:5, Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
So, when I'm menstruating and Lew gotta have it, I give him wonderful, intense pleasure, all without intercourse. It's the law, ladies.
Obscure verse, I know. does anyone even read Leviticus anymore?
Well, um, yes. I do.
I never really gave this verse much thought in particular. Whenever I was menstruating and my husband wanted sex, I was game as long as he was. Neither of us bothered to think about the implications of what we were doing.
This verse clearly states that my husband is NOT supposed to delve into my nether regions when I'm menstruating. There are many Old Testament laws that were overturned or changed when Christ came to save the world. This law has not been changed.
But what if he need to release his sexual tension? What then?
Well, ladies, there are things you can and should do with your two hands and your two lips to relieve his tension.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
His needs do not decrease during this time, so it just isn't right to do nothing. As it says in 1 Corinthians 7:5, Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
So, when I'm menstruating and Lew gotta have it, I give him wonderful, intense pleasure, all without intercourse. It's the law, ladies.
Friday, June 17, 2011
The Nether Regions
I'm not going to write many posts about my dear, first husband who passed away quite suddenly in his sleep. However, this topic is relevant to my blog, so I'm going into this topic today.
My first husband was a dear, dear man who truly loved me as Christ loved the church. He was selfless and generous to a fault. He went to such extremes as to not ever make me feel uncomfortable in any way, including a time when he underwent surgery to remove a small mass from his upper thigh.
The post-surgery care included the changing of bandages and cleaning of the wound. He wouldn't let me do any of that, preferring to clean his own wound and reapply a fresh bandage.
He and I argued about it, but he made it clear that he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable to have to go "down there" and clean him.
"Why do you think that would make me feel uncomfortable?"
His reply: "You don't like to get up close and personal with that part of me."
Ouch. He was right. I never thought about it. I was downright repulsed by the prospect of any up close examination of my own husband's private parts. Now when he needed me to be comfortable (VERY COMFORTABLE) looking, cleaning, examining, and being extremely familiar with every inch of him, he didn't feel that I would want to be bothered.
Plus, I'm sure it would be humiliating to him if he had even a passing inkling that I was thinking to myself, "Ewwww!"
I did this to him by my attitude and my actions. There were certain parts of him that I simply would not explore, especially putting my face down there.
Then when he needed me to do a practical thing that a wife should do, he didn't trust that I would be willing to follow through, so he did it all by himself.
Talk about being a help-meet. Sheesh!
My first husband was a dear, dear man who truly loved me as Christ loved the church. He was selfless and generous to a fault. He went to such extremes as to not ever make me feel uncomfortable in any way, including a time when he underwent surgery to remove a small mass from his upper thigh.
The post-surgery care included the changing of bandages and cleaning of the wound. He wouldn't let me do any of that, preferring to clean his own wound and reapply a fresh bandage.
He and I argued about it, but he made it clear that he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable to have to go "down there" and clean him.
"Why do you think that would make me feel uncomfortable?"
His reply: "You don't like to get up close and personal with that part of me."
Ouch. He was right. I never thought about it. I was downright repulsed by the prospect of any up close examination of my own husband's private parts. Now when he needed me to be comfortable (VERY COMFORTABLE) looking, cleaning, examining, and being extremely familiar with every inch of him, he didn't feel that I would want to be bothered.
Plus, I'm sure it would be humiliating to him if he had even a passing inkling that I was thinking to myself, "Ewwww!"
I did this to him by my attitude and my actions. There were certain parts of him that I simply would not explore, especially putting my face down there.
Then when he needed me to do a practical thing that a wife should do, he didn't trust that I would be willing to follow through, so he did it all by himself.
Talk about being a help-meet. Sheesh!
Friday, May 20, 2011
Seeking Titus 2 Woman
I am no Bible scholar, but it seems to me that much of what is written in God's word has stood the test of time for a reason. I believe that the instructions found in His Word are every bit as relevant today as they were when written.
Which brings me to Titus 2.
I know a lot of fine, upstanding church women who seem, at least on the surface, to be devout followers of Christ. They read their Bibles, the attend worship services and Bible studies, they help the needy, and do all the things one would expect of a fine, upstanding church woman.
Are they Titus 2 women?
Hmmmm ...
Would I be able to go to any of them with a question about my children? My husband? Sex?
Would they teach me how to love my husband and family?
I'm not so sure.
If I need advice (I mean real, hardcore advice) about such things as a private issue between Lew and me, I cannot imagine going to one of these ladies. I'm almost certain that they would look at me differently ... as lesser than themselves ... for bringing up a taboo topic.
What a shame. What I'm looking for is a woman who will sit with me and discuss the ins and outs of motherhood and wife-hood. A woman who has been around the block and isn't ashamed of herself for having no-nonsense answers to no-nonsense questions. A woman who blush and tell me that I shouldn't be asking her those kinds of questions. I need a woman who will let me say what I have to say, then teach me how to be the best wife I can be for my own husband, without the high and mighty attitude I see in so many fine, upstanding church women.
That's a Titus 2 woman. That's the woman I'm looking for.
Which brings me to Titus 2.
I know a lot of fine, upstanding church women who seem, at least on the surface, to be devout followers of Christ. They read their Bibles, the attend worship services and Bible studies, they help the needy, and do all the things one would expect of a fine, upstanding church woman.
Are they Titus 2 women?
Hmmmm ...
Would I be able to go to any of them with a question about my children? My husband? Sex?
Would they teach me how to love my husband and family?
I'm not so sure.
If I need advice (I mean real, hardcore advice) about such things as a private issue between Lew and me, I cannot imagine going to one of these ladies. I'm almost certain that they would look at me differently ... as lesser than themselves ... for bringing up a taboo topic.
What a shame. What I'm looking for is a woman who will sit with me and discuss the ins and outs of motherhood and wife-hood. A woman who has been around the block and isn't ashamed of herself for having no-nonsense answers to no-nonsense questions. A woman who blush and tell me that I shouldn't be asking her those kinds of questions. I need a woman who will let me say what I have to say, then teach me how to be the best wife I can be for my own husband, without the high and mighty attitude I see in so many fine, upstanding church women.
That's a Titus 2 woman. That's the woman I'm looking for.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Blew It Again.
I so want to apologize to my husband, but I fear that mere words will not suffice.
Last week we attended the funeral of my husband's loving mother. She was a wonderful wife and mother, and the most generous mother in law you'd ever hope to know. She died after a year long battle with kidney failure. She will surely be missed.
Now, on to the apology ...
When I received the call early in the morning, my husband was on his way to work. I immediately called him on his cell and he returned home to call his brother and to make the necessary arrangements to travel home to be with his family.
I had other plans.
You see, I'm a cleaner and an organizer. I began cleaning the house and organizing everything in sight, because I knew it would likely be more than a week before we returned, and I did not want to return to a dirty house. I showed zero concern for my husband's state of emotions at the loss of his dear mother. I wanted my house to be spotless before we got in that car.
I wasn't thinking like a help meet at the moment. If I were, I surely would have remembered the scripture,
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
I'm quite sure Lew did not feel blessed nor comforted by my actions. In fact with the way I blew up at him for wanting to (*gasp*) pack our suitcases and go to his brother's house, I'm surprised, nay, THANKFUL that he decided to stay married to me.
What was I thinking? As a Christian, I am supposed to align my life to the One and Only Jesus Christ.
Jesus would have dropped what he was doing to comfort the man who lost his mother.
If I could go back, I would stop everything an hold the man in my arms and let him cry and cry and cry until he (and I) had nothing left.
Lew hasn't cried yet. I didn't allow him to mourn when he needed to. I hope some day he allows himself to mourn.
Last week we attended the funeral of my husband's loving mother. She was a wonderful wife and mother, and the most generous mother in law you'd ever hope to know. She died after a year long battle with kidney failure. She will surely be missed.
Now, on to the apology ...
When I received the call early in the morning, my husband was on his way to work. I immediately called him on his cell and he returned home to call his brother and to make the necessary arrangements to travel home to be with his family.
I had other plans.
You see, I'm a cleaner and an organizer. I began cleaning the house and organizing everything in sight, because I knew it would likely be more than a week before we returned, and I did not want to return to a dirty house. I showed zero concern for my husband's state of emotions at the loss of his dear mother. I wanted my house to be spotless before we got in that car.
I wasn't thinking like a help meet at the moment. If I were, I surely would have remembered the scripture,
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4
I'm quite sure Lew did not feel blessed nor comforted by my actions. In fact with the way I blew up at him for wanting to (*gasp*) pack our suitcases and go to his brother's house, I'm surprised, nay, THANKFUL that he decided to stay married to me.
What was I thinking? As a Christian, I am supposed to align my life to the One and Only Jesus Christ.
Jesus would have dropped what he was doing to comfort the man who lost his mother.
If I could go back, I would stop everything an hold the man in my arms and let him cry and cry and cry until he (and I) had nothing left.
Lew hasn't cried yet. I didn't allow him to mourn when he needed to. I hope some day he allows himself to mourn.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Defraud Ye Not One The Other
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a
time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come
together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:5)
I'm a submissive wife. That means I have chosen to place myself under my husband's authority. God has blessed me with a godly, loving husband, so I find it quite easy to submit. So when my husband needs me sexually I freely give him my body for sexual pleasure. That is and important part of God's plan for marriage.
But is it enough to just give him my body? What if I do it half-heartedly? When I give him sex but withhold my enthusiastic attitude, aren't I still defrauding him? If I hold my inhibitions close instead of letting go and getting lost in the experience of pleasure, isn't that fraud as well?
I have chosen to submit to my own husband. That means that what he wants is what I am willing to give. I am not to defraud him of the pleasure he wants. (Nor is he to defraud me of the same). To defraud means to present something that is false. In other words, if I am capable of giving him more, of giving him exactly what he wants, the way he wants it, and I don't do it, I am guilty of defrauding my husband, and in so doing, I cause him to become vulnerable to sexual temptation.
Sounds harsh. Well, sometimes the truth is harsh. I must always remember that my husband faces a barrage of sexual temptations every day, and it is up to me to place a hedge around him by not defrauding him sexually. I'm not going to sugar coat this. I intend to give my husband the kind of sex he desires. I am capable of it, and to do less is sin.
I'm a submissive wife. That means I have chosen to place myself under my husband's authority. God has blessed me with a godly, loving husband, so I find it quite easy to submit. So when my husband needs me sexually I freely give him my body for sexual pleasure. That is and important part of God's plan for marriage.
But is it enough to just give him my body? What if I do it half-heartedly? When I give him sex but withhold my enthusiastic attitude, aren't I still defrauding him? If I hold my inhibitions close instead of letting go and getting lost in the experience of pleasure, isn't that fraud as well?
I have chosen to submit to my own husband. That means that what he wants is what I am willing to give. I am not to defraud him of the pleasure he wants. (Nor is he to defraud me of the same). To defraud means to present something that is false. In other words, if I am capable of giving him more, of giving him exactly what he wants, the way he wants it, and I don't do it, I am guilty of defrauding my husband, and in so doing, I cause him to become vulnerable to sexual temptation.
Sounds harsh. Well, sometimes the truth is harsh. I must always remember that my husband faces a barrage of sexual temptations every day, and it is up to me to place a hedge around him by not defrauding him sexually. I'm not going to sugar coat this. I intend to give my husband the kind of sex he desires. I am capable of it, and to do less is sin.
Friday, March 18, 2011
The Argument
My husband and I had a rather loud disagreement last night. We really disagreed. Loudly. L-O-U-D-L-Y. Anyway, in the midst of our arguing he was busying himself in the kitchen, opening the fridge, closing the fridge, getting a knife, washing the knife, doing some other things.
All the while, I was standing my ground, digging in my heels firmly on my side of the argument. Finally he announced that he was going to bed.
About a half hour later, I followed him to bed. I got undressed and slipped in next to him. I could feel him breathing that certain way that tells me he is fast asleep. I rolled over and slept as well, though not very soundly.
This morning I awoke to an empty bed. I suppose Lew got up and left without wanting to wake me, either to be polite or for fear of restarting our argument.
I had some appointments in the next town this afternoon, so I wasn't going to be home for lunch today. I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. When I opened the fridge I discovered that he had placed a brown bag with a homemade lunch in the fridge. For me.
That's what he was doing while we were arguing. He was making my lunch because he knew I would need something to eat today. Even while I was yelling at him, he was taking care of my needs.
It got me thinking ...
If the tables were turned, I'm not so sure I would have done the same for him.
He doesn't know it yet, but when he comes home from work I'm going to give him one of his favorite treats. And I'm not going to stop until he's satisfied, if you get my drift.
All the while, I was standing my ground, digging in my heels firmly on my side of the argument. Finally he announced that he was going to bed.
About a half hour later, I followed him to bed. I got undressed and slipped in next to him. I could feel him breathing that certain way that tells me he is fast asleep. I rolled over and slept as well, though not very soundly.
This morning I awoke to an empty bed. I suppose Lew got up and left without wanting to wake me, either to be polite or for fear of restarting our argument.
I had some appointments in the next town this afternoon, so I wasn't going to be home for lunch today. I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast. When I opened the fridge I discovered that he had placed a brown bag with a homemade lunch in the fridge. For me.
That's what he was doing while we were arguing. He was making my lunch because he knew I would need something to eat today. Even while I was yelling at him, he was taking care of my needs.
It got me thinking ...
If the tables were turned, I'm not so sure I would have done the same for him.
He doesn't know it yet, but when he comes home from work I'm going to give him one of his favorite treats. And I'm not going to stop until he's satisfied, if you get my drift.
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