He's watching me do THAT???

Some facts about God just blow me away.  I’ve always known that God is everywhere, even in the smallest details.  As a kid I learned that He’s watching me and taking care of me and that He wants what’s best for me.  

Recently I had an awesome and somewhat frightening little “a-ha!” moment about God and his everywhere-ness.  It happened while I was serving Lew (husband) by doing something deeply personal and intimate (I think you can guess) that he deeply desires and loves. 

While I was busy serving my hubby the Holy Spirit got a hold of me and whispered in my ear, “Your husband is well pleased with you, and so is your Heavenly Father.” 

Wow!  I never really stopped to think about it, but it’s true.  When the hubby and I are naked and unashamed, God is there.  When we’re naked and one of us is ashamed (mostly me), He is there.  When I dive in and explore sex with abandon, He is there.  When I rationalize all the reasons not  to release myself to sexual abandon, He is there. 

I’ve blogged previously about God’s whereabouts and that He’s always watching and always with us, but this dimension adds a bit more depth to my understanding of exactly how involved God is in our lives. 

Everything I do and every excuse I have, God is either pleased or displeased with me. 

What about you?  Is God please with the details of your life?  Your marriage?  Your thoughts and excuses? 

Does He like the level of intimacy you’ve built with your husband? 

If not, what are you going to do about it?

Intimacy - A Man's Way

Sometimes I forget the huge differences between Lew and me.  Especially where sex is concerned. 

Sometimes I forget that he needs it more often than I do, and in vastly different ways than I do.  I'm very comfortable with doing it the same way every time, with maybe an occasional twist in direction, but nothing out of the ordinary. 

I should know by now that he has little favorite things that have nothing to do with modern, feminist - driven sex, but rather a Song of Solomon view of sex.  Sex for him is an all-encompassing encounter that sometimes involves all five senses, sometimes only one.  As it should be, as it is written in the Word of God.

I used to have a hard time with that, because I couldn't understand the need for any other kind of sex besides intercourse.  But apparently it isn't always about intercourse.  Husbands need to be affirmed sexually in different ways.  They need to be felt, smelled, tasted, heard, seen.

My own husband needs sex in a completely different way than I do.  To give him sex my way is to deprive him of something he needs - a desire God placed inside Him - a desire that I am supposed to meet for him.  Once I got that through my thick skull and learned what to do, we developed a much more intimate relationship.

Just remember - It really isn't  always about intercourse - it's about connection.  It's about being willing to do the most intimate things possible to bless and bring pleasure to your own husband.  That's what you agreed to when you said you would marry him.

About That Titus 2 Woman ...

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
⁴ That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
⁵ To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)

Alrighteee then, let's tackle this woman one piece at a time, shall we?

The aged women 
Old ladies. These are the ones who have been married, who have been around the block.  They know about stuff.  They know how to cook, bake, clean, wash and iron clothes, give sexual pleasure (surely not - ummmm, surely SO), 

likewise,
Whenever the word "likewise" appears in the Bible, you have to go back and see what came before it, so you have a comparison to "liken" it to.  In this case, the previous verse is  ....That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (v.4)  In other words, the old ladies should be the same way the old me are.

that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
They should behave in a holy manner, devoted to the service of God. 

not false accusers,
They must not be involved in gossip.


not given to much wine,
They shouldn't be drunkards. That is not to say that they should never touch the stuff, but that they should not drink in excess.  Don't forget Jesus drank wine, and we are supposed to emulate Him, so ....

teachers of good things;
This shouldn't need any comment, but I suppose I should expound on it just a bit.  The older women should teach nice things, not evil things.  They should always model the best way to do something, and never be an example of what not to do.

That they may teach the young women to be sober,
They should teach the young women about moderation.  I believe this means more than just the consumption of alcohol. In today's world it must also be extended to drug abuse.  The older women must instruct the youngsters about the evils of substance abuse.

to love their husbands,
 This is where I get into trouble every time.  These older ladies are not stupid, or naive, or innocent by any stretch of the imagination.  They know about loving a husband.  They know about giving pleasure to a man.  Aaaannnd ... They are instructed, in this verse, to teach the young women how to love their husbands.
I don't believe this to include the nuts and bolts of household stuff like cooking and cleaning, as those things are covered in the next verse.  Therefore, this must refer to things of a sexual nature.  After all, a young wife will have questions that will need to be answered in a clear, no-nonsense way, without the shame that is so often attached to such questions.  Here, the instruction is clearly given to teach these things to young women.

to love their children,
Every new mother needs help with the children.  Frustrations arise with discipline, diet, and a whole host of other issues.  God is clearly indicating that the older women must help the young women with their children.

To be discreet,
To avoid causing embarrassment to yourself of others.

chaste,
Don't sleep around. Duh.

keepers at home,
Young wives need to learn homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, etc.  God's design calls for women to keep the home and men to earn the cash.  That's the plan.  We should get back to that plan, don't you think?

obedient to their own husbands,
The critical word here is "obedient." God does not mince words here.  O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T to their own husbands. In my mind, this means the old ladies are supposed to be teaching the young ladies to OBEY their own husbands.  Not someone else's idea of a husband.  Each wife has a unique husband with unique ways, unique needs, unique desires.  Each young wife should be instructed in how to obey her own unique husband, so that when he asks her to do something, no matter what it is, she is competent and able to do it to his satisfaction.  


This may sound a bit archaic, but it is, in fact, the Word of God.  And God doesn't put things in writing unless He expects us to obey Him.

that the word of God be not blasphemed.  
If the older women teach the younger women these things, and the younger women pay attention, they will be showing respect for the Word of God.  Otherwise, they are disrespecting their Creator.  It may sound harsh, but like I said, He didn't put it in writing to have us ignore it.

That's what I'm studying right now.  It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure I'll be a better wife for my own husband, and he (and God) will be pleased.

 
 
 
 
  
  



 

Defraud Ye Not One The Other

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Corinthians 7:5)


I'm a submissive wife. That means I have chosen to place myself under my husband's authority.  God has blessed me with a godly, loving husband, so I find it quite easy to submit.  So when my husband needs me sexually I freely give him my body for sexual pleasure.  That is and important part of God's plan for marriage. 

But is it enough to just give him my body?  What if I do it half-heartedly?  When I give him sex but withhold my enthusiastic attitude, aren't I still defrauding him?  If I hold my inhibitions close instead of letting go and getting lost in the experience of pleasure, isn't that fraud as well?

I have chosen to submit to my own husband.  That means that what he wants is what I am willing to give.  I am not to defraud him of the pleasure he wants.  (Nor is he to defraud me of the same).  To defraud means to present something that is false.  In other words, if I am capable of giving him more, of giving him exactly what he wants, the way he wants it, and I don't do it, I am guilty of defrauding my husband, and in so doing, I cause him to become vulnerable to sexual temptation.

Sounds harsh.  Well, sometimes the truth is harsh.  I must always remember that my husband faces a barrage of sexual temptations every day, and it is up to me to place a hedge around him by not defrauding him sexually.  I'm not going to sugar coat this.  I intend to give my husband the kind of sex he desires.  I am capable of it, and to do less is sin.  

The Argument

My husband and I had a rather loud disagreement last night.  We really disagreed.  Loudly. L-O-U-D-L-Y.  Anyway, in the midst of our arguing he was busying himself in the kitchen, opening the fridge, closing the fridge, getting a knife, washing the knife, doing some other things.

All the while, I was standing my ground, digging in my heels firmly on my side of the argument.  Finally he announced that he was going to bed.

About a half hour later, I followed him to bed.  I got undressed and slipped in next to him.  I could feel him breathing that certain way that tells me he is fast asleep. I rolled over and slept as well, though not very soundly.

This morning I awoke to an empty bed.  I suppose Lew got up and left without wanting to wake me, either to be polite or for fear of restarting our argument.

I had some appointments in the next town this afternoon, so I wasn't going to be home for lunch today.  I went to the kitchen to get some breakfast.  When I opened the fridge I discovered that he had placed a brown bag with a homemade lunch in the fridge.  For me.

That's what he was doing while we were arguing.  He was making my lunch because he knew I would need something to eat today.  Even while I was yelling at him, he was taking care of my needs.

It got me thinking ...

If the tables were turned, I'm not so sure I would have done the same for him.

He doesn't know it yet, but when he comes home from work I'm going to give him one of his favorite treats.  And I'm not going to stop until he's satisfied, if you get my drift.

Fall Into Intimacy

Fall is in the air ... I always feel romantic at this time of year.  With the brisk, autumn air, the blazing color of the leaves, the cool breezes ...

It makes me want to cuddle up with my wonderful groom and give him the pleasure he deserves.

I hope all the wives out there are feeling the same way!