A Time To Reconnect

First, let me apologize for neglecting my blog for so long.  I was away with Lew (husband), working on our relationship.  We did this because it came to a crisis point and we didn't want to give up on God's gift of marriage. 

My parents watched the kids and we drove far away and checked into a very nice hotel.  It was glorious to be alone with my love for a few weeks.  Or at least it would have been glorious had it not been for the gigantic crater in our relationship. 

That was the first order of business.  Well, right after resting a bit and getting some food in our famished bodies. 

First thing in the morning that first day we ate breakfast and got to work.  We set up our laptops on a round table in our room and sat next to each other.  We spent time each day working on specific areas of our marriage and family, including topics like finances, children, retirement, home improvements, health and fitness, diet, and sex. 

The talks were difficult at times.  There were things each of us didn't want to hear.  Some topics were embarrassing (especially when it came to sex), but we worked through some of them and made plans to improve over the next few months.

The best part of our getaway was having the freedom to be truly open and unashamed with each other without any interruptions.  We talked about things, and whenever we could, we started implementing changes immediately, right there on vacation.  Diet, exercise, sex, wardrobe, whatever we talked about.  We started making changes right then and there.

I found out I could do some things for him that would give him tremendous satisfaction and that didn't take a lot of effort on my part.  The trick was paying attention to him and what he needs instead of concentrating on what I want to give him and how to get out of giving him what I don't want to give him (Yes, I'm guilty of this and so are you).

I found out that Lew was unhappy for a long time but didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to have the same argument with me again and get nowhere again.  In fact, it took a couple days before he was actually able to admit that he still wasn't satisfied with our relationship.

The entire trip opened my eyes and I intend to keep them open.

What about you?  Do you and your hubby talk openly and honestly about deep, important issues?  Do you diet with him? (Lew dieted alone because it was "too much of a hassle" for me.)  Do you exercise together? (Lew didn't do the right kind of exercises.)  Do you try his sexual ideas? (I was only willing to do a few things, and he stopped asking for any kind of sex at all.)   Do you dress for each other? (We're learning to do that.)

I recommend to every couple that you take a week or so without the kids to go away, talk, and reconnect.  It will make a huge difference.  I promise.

Seeking Titus 2 Woman

I am no Bible scholar, but it seems to me that much of what is written in God's word has stood the test of time for a reason.  I believe that the instructions found in His Word are every bit as relevant today as they were when written.

Which brings me to Titus 2.

I know a lot of fine, upstanding church women who seem, at least on the surface, to be devout followers of Christ.  They read their Bibles, the attend worship services and Bible studies, they help the needy, and do all the things one would expect of a fine, upstanding church woman.

Are they Titus 2 women?

Hmmmm ...

Would I be able to go to any of them with a question about my children?  My husband?  Sex? 
Would they teach me how to love my husband and family?

I'm not so sure.

If I need advice (I mean real, hardcore advice) about such things as a private issue between Lew and me, I cannot imagine going to one of these ladies.  I'm almost certain that they would look at me differently ... as lesser than themselves ... for bringing up a taboo topic.

What a shame.  What I'm looking for is a woman who will sit with me and discuss the ins and outs of motherhood and wife-hood.  A woman who has been around the block and isn't ashamed of herself for having no-nonsense answers to no-nonsense questions.  A woman who blush and tell me that I shouldn't be asking her those kinds of questions.  I need a woman who will let me say what I have to say, then teach me how to be the best wife I can be for my own husband, without the high and mighty attitude I see in so many fine, upstanding church women.

That's a Titus 2 woman.  That's the woman I'm looking for.