When He Wants More

Okay, it's gonna be another sex post.

What do you do when your husband wants more in bed than you want to give him?

A: Let him live without it.  He's a grown man and he needs to suck it up and live with disappointment for the rest of his life. This is a dangerous way of thinking.  Husbands have needs and us wives were given to them as a helper, for this very reason (among others).

B: Tell him it's okay for him to find what he needs somewhere else.Even more dangerous.  To bring a third party into the one-flesh union is not godly, is not biblical.  DON'T DO IT.  Besides, he wants you to "do him," not someone else.

C: Learn to reverence your husband and stop withholding something he needs. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Cor 7:5)  Whatever it is, start doing it.  If you don't know how, ask him to help you or read a book, but for goodness sake stop denying your husband something he is desiring. 


That's my rant for today.

 

Buck Naked Marriage

Lew and I are reading Buck Naked Marriage by Dr. Corey Allen.  He's a Christian author who has written several books about marriage. 

We're reading this particular book together because of it's strong, straightforward advice for married couples.  It's great to spend time learning together and sharing our thoughts as we improve our relationship.

What books have you read that helped you improve your marriage?

Rest A While

My husband Lew is a hard worker.  When he works.  I don't mean that to sound demeaning whatsoever.  He works extremely hard 9 months of the year.  The other 3 months (which happen to be winter), he is off. 

It used to bother me that he didn't have the same desire as I do for undertaking home improvement jobs or reorganization projects (like, um, alphabetizing everything we own - don't get me started).  Then an amazing thing happened.

Lew got sick and had to take four days off work.  But he still had to do his paperwork so it wouldn't pile up on his desk.  Every morning a courier would bring a box filled with manilla file folders, and every evening a different courier would take them away.  Lew spend at least six hours each day working.  While he was sick. 

While I realize that being home allowed him to take his time and not rush through the work .... six hours of paper work is very intense.  And that doesn't include floor time, testing, and training his crew.  His brain must be fried by the end of the day let alone by the end of December.

Now that I have a more realistic view of what the man deals with during his 9 month work schedule, I have laid off the pressure for him to produce during his downtime.  Sure, there are still things that have to get done, and he is happy to do them.  In his own way, in his own time.

Willing To Learn

Our Bible study group is delving into Proverbs.  This week we were talking about our willingness to learn and what happens when we are not open to learning.

 He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. (Proverbs 10:17)

This verse hit me right between the eyes.  Truth is I am not open to learning, especially when the topic is uncomfortable.  Come to think of it, I don't like to learn anything at all if it wasn't my idea to begin with.

In our marriage, my wonderful husband Lew has tried to lead me in the direction he feels God is guiding us as a couple and guiding our family.  He tries to lead us and move my stubborn feet, but the fact is that I am not willing to learn.

Please understand that Lew doesn't rule our house like a dictator.  Rather, he is the best example of a servant-leader I have ever seen.  He prays for us and for direction, then he does his best to move us in that direction.  The problem is that I don't always follow his lead, and I don't always open myself up to learn what is necessary to move forward with him.

Granted, he doesn't have all the answers at his disposal.  That's when I should get busy learning.  If I intend to be a submissive wife, then I need to do whatever is necessary to learn a new thing when my husband has made a decision to expand our horizons as a family (or a couple).

Sadly, I do not always conform to his wishes.  Sometimes I think "If I don't make any move toward learning this new skill, then he'll stop prodding and I will be off the hook."

Think again.

When I close myself off from learning something new that will benefit my marriage and my family (and therefore glorify my Heavenly Father), then I am sinning and I must ask Lew's forgiveness.  Then I must go and learn all about it.

Here's to my new found willingness to learn!