When He Wants More

Okay, it's gonna be another sex post.

What do you do when your husband wants more in bed than you want to give him?

A: Let him live without it.  He's a grown man and he needs to suck it up and live with disappointment for the rest of his life. This is a dangerous way of thinking.  Husbands have needs and us wives were given to them as a helper, for this very reason (among others).

B: Tell him it's okay for him to find what he needs somewhere else.Even more dangerous.  To bring a third party into the one-flesh union is not godly, is not biblical.  DON'T DO IT.  Besides, he wants you to "do him," not someone else.

C: Learn to reverence your husband and stop withholding something he needs. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. (1 Cor 7:5)  Whatever it is, start doing it.  If you don't know how, ask him to help you or read a book, but for goodness sake stop denying your husband something he is desiring. 


That's my rant for today.

 

He's So Good To Me

We are taking a short trip, and there are a million things that have to be done.  Packing, organizing, cooking-ahead, dog-sitter, etc.

One of the things I never have to worry about it preparing our car for the trip.  Lew always takes care of those things. He makes sure the oil is changed, the AC is working, the tires are filled, the gas tank is full, and the bag of change is ready for tolls.

He's my guy and I love him!  (Maybe I'll show him just how much I love him later today)

Walking and Talking

Lew and I went for a nice walk after dinner tonight.  We held hands and strolled leisurely down the path at a park near our house (well, okay, 3 miles from our house).  It was wonderful to just be near the man I love, holding hands, chatting about stuff. <insert long sigh here>

Do you take time out of your busy life to walk at leisure with your man?

"I don't do anything fancy."

When my husband takes on one of my hair brained ideas and decides to make something for the house - something out of wood - he does the very best he can do. 

There are certain things he does very well and certain thing he ... well ... doesn't.  Building a level, straight end table with a drawer is one of those things.

"I don't do anything fancy," he said.

Meanwhile I kept piling little "extras" on to the project.  Things like a shelf and a "half shelf," a flush-fitting drawer, tapered legs, and a fancy, routed edge.

While he did all the things I asked for, I wasn't able to accept his mantra, "I don't do anything fancy."

Well, the end table came out ... interesting.  Not at all what I expected.  It works extremely well as an end table.  It has 2 full shelves and a drawer (not flush-fitting).  The legs are straight.  It is a beautiful table, and it graces the side of my rocker quite nicely.  Even though it isn't at all what I pictured when I spewed my detailed instructions to a man who said over and over, "I don't do anything fancy."

He did his very best work.  And I love him. And I need to learn to accept that when he conveys his limitations over and over and over.  He means it.

Learning to Laugh

I used to get mad at Lew for doing silly things that embarrassed me. Like when he wore "that t-shirt" to church, or when he and the girls walked around the block wearing makeshift wedding veils.

Any more I just chalk it up to his personality and the way he goes about his life.  I knew he was a bit of a loon when I agreed to marry him, so why should I be embarrassed when I see him playing out his lifestyle in front of me (and the entire neighborhood)?

Anyway, I've learned to be thankful for the silly boy who won my heart, and I try not to take these embarrassing moments personally.

Buck Naked Marriage

Lew and I are reading Buck Naked Marriage by Dr. Corey Allen.  He's a Christian author who has written several books about marriage. 

We're reading this particular book together because of it's strong, straightforward advice for married couples.  It's great to spend time learning together and sharing our thoughts as we improve our relationship.

What books have you read that helped you improve your marriage?

Rest A While

My husband Lew is a hard worker.  When he works.  I don't mean that to sound demeaning whatsoever.  He works extremely hard 9 months of the year.  The other 3 months (which happen to be winter), he is off. 

It used to bother me that he didn't have the same desire as I do for undertaking home improvement jobs or reorganization projects (like, um, alphabetizing everything we own - don't get me started).  Then an amazing thing happened.

Lew got sick and had to take four days off work.  But he still had to do his paperwork so it wouldn't pile up on his desk.  Every morning a courier would bring a box filled with manilla file folders, and every evening a different courier would take them away.  Lew spend at least six hours each day working.  While he was sick. 

While I realize that being home allowed him to take his time and not rush through the work .... six hours of paper work is very intense.  And that doesn't include floor time, testing, and training his crew.  His brain must be fried by the end of the day let alone by the end of December.

Now that I have a more realistic view of what the man deals with during his 9 month work schedule, I have laid off the pressure for him to produce during his downtime.  Sure, there are still things that have to get done, and he is happy to do them.  In his own way, in his own time.