Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1)
This verse is on my agenda right now. I can't help but question whether I'm a builder of my house or a tearer-downer.
I have a confession to make. Sometimes my family gets on my nerves. Yeah, I know. It's hard to imagine that someone as patient and content as I am could say something like that.
I know deep down in my heart that much of the problem lies within me. I'm selfish. My selfishness prevents me from building my house. I'm too busy building my hobbies, my reading list, my Facebook community (ahem), playing my games (ummm ... Yes, GardenDesign 4.0 is a game just like GuitarHero. Maybe not as action packed or so called "stupid," but it is a game nonetheless, and I spend far too much time indulging myself into the wee hours), and on and on. My husband and family need me to build my house by doing some things ...
Cooking and cleaning (hubby does his share as well, believe me)
Raising children,
Loving my husband,
Teaching younger wives,
Keeping my finances in order.
There are others for sure, but these were at the top of my head and the tip of my fingers.
I should be doing these things instead of getting lost for hours and hours on the computer or in a good book without any idea what's going on around me.
And speaking of a Good Book, what about when I spend all day researching Bible topics and I don't pay attention to anything around me? Not the kids, not the meals, not the husband, not anything? Am I sinning then? Am I tearing down my house?
Ouch.
I do that ALL THE TIME.
I better pay more attention to how I go about my day. I have to heed the Word of God and build up my house rather than tear it down with my own hands like a fool.
Showing posts with label Bible study. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bible study. Show all posts
Friday, July 6, 2012
Friday, September 9, 2011
Solomon Must Be Kidding, Right?
In my post Intimacy - A Man's Way I talked about my husband Lew and the fact that he strives for a "Song of Solomon" sort of physical intimacy with me, rather than what the world deems normal in the sexual realm.
I must admit that I was skeptical at first. After all, my first husband never pushed for such deeply intimate things. He never asked me to be so open and vulnerable that I would lose myself in the way he felt, sounded, smelled, looked, tasted?
Wait a minute. Yes he did. I was the one who wouldn't give in and let myself go. What was I thinking? I spent my entire first marriage in deliberate disobedience to God and to my husband. It's probably because I never saw sex as something holy, something designed by God as a gift to married people.
But as I began studying the beautiful poetry of Solomon in his Song of Songs, I realized more and more that God meant for me to make passionate, intimate love to my husband, and to let him make passionate, intimate love to me.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
This is one of the ways that my Lord has outlined as perfect, sexual love between a husband and wife. It says that I should sit in his shadow and taste his fruit. Almost every Bible scholar I can think of, plus my own pastor, his wife, AND my Titus 2 mentor (whom I trust with my life) have agreed that Solomon is talking about an oral-genital caress. (I'm not going into detail here - I think we all know what that is.)
As I studied and asked more and more questions, it became clear to me that I needed to submit to my husband's wishes and obey the Lord as he outlined His perfect plan for married sexual love. I was convicted to give Lew the wife who would love him they way God intended. I decided to be a Song of Solomon lover for him and get absolutely lost in sexual intimacy with my husband.
I asked him to help me learn and to guide me, which was difficult and embarrassing for both of us at first. To lay myself out and accept that kind of specific sexual instruction from Lew was, well, awkward at first. I had many moments of inadequacy. But Lew was wonderfully supportive as he guided me through the process.
Now we are totally lost in our passion for each other. There is no hesitation. I want to experience every inch of him with all five of my senses.
His fruit is sweet to my taste.
I must admit that I was skeptical at first. After all, my first husband never pushed for such deeply intimate things. He never asked me to be so open and vulnerable that I would lose myself in the way he felt, sounded, smelled, looked, tasted?
Wait a minute. Yes he did. I was the one who wouldn't give in and let myself go. What was I thinking? I spent my entire first marriage in deliberate disobedience to God and to my husband. It's probably because I never saw sex as something holy, something designed by God as a gift to married people.
But as I began studying the beautiful poetry of Solomon in his Song of Songs, I realized more and more that God meant for me to make passionate, intimate love to my husband, and to let him make passionate, intimate love to me.
As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. (Song of Solomon 2:3)
This is one of the ways that my Lord has outlined as perfect, sexual love between a husband and wife. It says that I should sit in his shadow and taste his fruit. Almost every Bible scholar I can think of, plus my own pastor, his wife, AND my Titus 2 mentor (whom I trust with my life) have agreed that Solomon is talking about an oral-genital caress. (I'm not going into detail here - I think we all know what that is.)
As I studied and asked more and more questions, it became clear to me that I needed to submit to my husband's wishes and obey the Lord as he outlined His perfect plan for married sexual love. I was convicted to give Lew the wife who would love him they way God intended. I decided to be a Song of Solomon lover for him and get absolutely lost in sexual intimacy with my husband.
I asked him to help me learn and to guide me, which was difficult and embarrassing for both of us at first. To lay myself out and accept that kind of specific sexual instruction from Lew was, well, awkward at first. I had many moments of inadequacy. But Lew was wonderfully supportive as he guided me through the process.
Now we are totally lost in our passion for each other. There is no hesitation. I want to experience every inch of him with all five of my senses.
His fruit is sweet to my taste.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Willing To Learn
Our Bible study group is delving into Proverbs. This week we were talking about our willingness to learn and what happens when we are not open to learning.
He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. (Proverbs 10:17)
This verse hit me right between the eyes. Truth is I am not open to learning, especially when the topic is uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I don't like to learn anything at all if it wasn't my idea to begin with.
In our marriage, my wonderful husband Lew has tried to lead me in the direction he feels God is guiding us as a couple and guiding our family. He tries to lead us and move my stubborn feet, but the fact is that I am not willing to learn.
Please understand that Lew doesn't rule our house like a dictator. Rather, he is the best example of a servant-leader I have ever seen. He prays for us and for direction, then he does his best to move us in that direction. The problem is that I don't always follow his lead, and I don't always open myself up to learn what is necessary to move forward with him.
Granted, he doesn't have all the answers at his disposal. That's when I should get busy learning. If I intend to be a submissive wife, then I need to do whatever is necessary to learn a new thing when my husband has made a decision to expand our horizons as a family (or a couple).
Sadly, I do not always conform to his wishes. Sometimes I think "If I don't make any move toward learning this new skill, then he'll stop prodding and I will be off the hook."
Think again.
When I close myself off from learning something new that will benefit my marriage and my family (and therefore glorify my Heavenly Father), then I am sinning and I must ask Lew's forgiveness. Then I must go and learn all about it.
Here's to my new found willingness to learn!
He is in the way of life that keepeth instruction: but he that refuseth reproof erreth. (Proverbs 10:17)
This verse hit me right between the eyes. Truth is I am not open to learning, especially when the topic is uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I don't like to learn anything at all if it wasn't my idea to begin with.
In our marriage, my wonderful husband Lew has tried to lead me in the direction he feels God is guiding us as a couple and guiding our family. He tries to lead us and move my stubborn feet, but the fact is that I am not willing to learn.
Please understand that Lew doesn't rule our house like a dictator. Rather, he is the best example of a servant-leader I have ever seen. He prays for us and for direction, then he does his best to move us in that direction. The problem is that I don't always follow his lead, and I don't always open myself up to learn what is necessary to move forward with him.
Granted, he doesn't have all the answers at his disposal. That's when I should get busy learning. If I intend to be a submissive wife, then I need to do whatever is necessary to learn a new thing when my husband has made a decision to expand our horizons as a family (or a couple).
Sadly, I do not always conform to his wishes. Sometimes I think "If I don't make any move toward learning this new skill, then he'll stop prodding and I will be off the hook."
Think again.
When I close myself off from learning something new that will benefit my marriage and my family (and therefore glorify my Heavenly Father), then I am sinning and I must ask Lew's forgiveness. Then I must go and learn all about it.
Here's to my new found willingness to learn!
Friday, July 1, 2011
About That Titus 2 Woman ...
The aged women
likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false
accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
Alrighteee then, let's tackle this woman one piece at a time, shall we?
The aged women
Old ladies. These are the ones who have been married, who have been around the block. They know about stuff. They know how to cook, bake, clean, wash and iron clothes, give sexual pleasure (surely not - ummmm, surely SO),
likewise,
Whenever the word "likewise" appears in the Bible, you have to go back and see what came before it, so you have a comparison to "liken" it to. In this case, the previous verse is ....That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (v.4) In other words, the old ladies should be the same way the old me are.
that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
They should behave in a holy manner, devoted to the service of God.
not false accusers,
They must not be involved in gossip.
not given to much wine,
They shouldn't be drunkards. That is not to say that they should never touch the stuff, but that they should not drink in excess. Don't forget Jesus drank wine, and we are supposed to emulate Him, so ....
teachers of good things;
This shouldn't need any comment, but I suppose I should expound on it just a bit. The older women should teach nice things, not evil things. They should always model the best way to do something, and never be an example of what not to do.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
They should teach the young women about moderation. I believe this means more than just the consumption of alcohol. In today's world it must also be extended to drug abuse. The older women must instruct the youngsters about the evils of substance abuse.
to love their husbands,
This is where I get into trouble every time. These older ladies are not stupid, or naive, or innocent by any stretch of the imagination. They know about loving a husband. They know about giving pleasure to a man. Aaaannnd ... They are instructed, in this verse, to teach the young women how to love their husbands.
I don't believe this to include the nuts and bolts of household stuff like cooking and cleaning, as those things are covered in the next verse. Therefore, this must refer to things of a sexual nature. After all, a young wife will have questions that will need to be answered in a clear, no-nonsense way, without the shame that is so often attached to such questions. Here, the instruction is clearly given to teach these things to young women.
to love their children,
Every new mother needs help with the children. Frustrations arise with discipline, diet, and a whole host of other issues. God is clearly indicating that the older women must help the young women with their children.
To be discreet,
To avoid causing embarrassment to yourself of others.
chaste,
Don't sleep around. Duh.
keepers at home,
Young wives need to learn homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, etc. God's design calls for women to keep the home and men to earn the cash. That's the plan. We should get back to that plan, don't you think?
obedient to their own husbands,
The critical word here is "obedient." God does not mince words here. O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T to their own husbands. In my mind, this means the old ladies are supposed to be teaching the young ladies to OBEY their own husbands. Not someone else's idea of a husband. Each wife has a unique husband with unique ways, unique needs, unique desires. Each young wife should be instructed in how to obey her own unique husband, so that when he asks her to do something, no matter what it is, she is competent and able to do it to his satisfaction.
This may sound a bit archaic, but it is, in fact, the Word of God. And God doesn't put things in writing unless He expects us to obey Him.
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
If the older women teach the younger women these things, and the younger women pay attention, they will be showing respect for the Word of God. Otherwise, they are disrespecting their Creator. It may sound harsh, but like I said, He didn't put it in writing to have us ignore it.
That's what I'm studying right now. It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure I'll be a better wife for my own husband, and he (and God) will be pleased.
4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:3-5)
Alrighteee then, let's tackle this woman one piece at a time, shall we?
The aged women
Old ladies. These are the ones who have been married, who have been around the block. They know about stuff. They know how to cook, bake, clean, wash and iron clothes, give sexual pleasure (surely not - ummmm, surely SO),
likewise,
Whenever the word "likewise" appears in the Bible, you have to go back and see what came before it, so you have a comparison to "liken" it to. In this case, the previous verse is ....That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. (v.4) In other words, the old ladies should be the same way the old me are.
that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness,
They should behave in a holy manner, devoted to the service of God.
not false accusers,
They must not be involved in gossip.
not given to much wine,
They shouldn't be drunkards. That is not to say that they should never touch the stuff, but that they should not drink in excess. Don't forget Jesus drank wine, and we are supposed to emulate Him, so ....
teachers of good things;
This shouldn't need any comment, but I suppose I should expound on it just a bit. The older women should teach nice things, not evil things. They should always model the best way to do something, and never be an example of what not to do.
That they may teach the young women to be sober,
They should teach the young women about moderation. I believe this means more than just the consumption of alcohol. In today's world it must also be extended to drug abuse. The older women must instruct the youngsters about the evils of substance abuse.
to love their husbands,
This is where I get into trouble every time. These older ladies are not stupid, or naive, or innocent by any stretch of the imagination. They know about loving a husband. They know about giving pleasure to a man. Aaaannnd ... They are instructed, in this verse, to teach the young women how to love their husbands.
I don't believe this to include the nuts and bolts of household stuff like cooking and cleaning, as those things are covered in the next verse. Therefore, this must refer to things of a sexual nature. After all, a young wife will have questions that will need to be answered in a clear, no-nonsense way, without the shame that is so often attached to such questions. Here, the instruction is clearly given to teach these things to young women.
to love their children,
Every new mother needs help with the children. Frustrations arise with discipline, diet, and a whole host of other issues. God is clearly indicating that the older women must help the young women with their children.
To be discreet,
To avoid causing embarrassment to yourself of others.
chaste,
Don't sleep around. Duh.
keepers at home,
Young wives need to learn homemaking skills like cooking, cleaning, washing and ironing, etc. God's design calls for women to keep the home and men to earn the cash. That's the plan. We should get back to that plan, don't you think?
obedient to their own husbands,
The critical word here is "obedient." God does not mince words here. O-B-E-D-I-E-N-T to their own husbands. In my mind, this means the old ladies are supposed to be teaching the young ladies to OBEY their own husbands. Not someone else's idea of a husband. Each wife has a unique husband with unique ways, unique needs, unique desires. Each young wife should be instructed in how to obey her own unique husband, so that when he asks her to do something, no matter what it is, she is competent and able to do it to his satisfaction.
This may sound a bit archaic, but it is, in fact, the Word of God. And God doesn't put things in writing unless He expects us to obey Him.
that the word of God be not blasphemed.
If the older women teach the younger women these things, and the younger women pay attention, they will be showing respect for the Word of God. Otherwise, they are disrespecting their Creator. It may sound harsh, but like I said, He didn't put it in writing to have us ignore it.
That's what I'm studying right now. It's a lot to take in, but I'm sure I'll be a better wife for my own husband, and he (and God) will be pleased.
Friday, February 18, 2011
God Knew It All Along
I was thinking about Adam and Eve and the fruit, and I came up with a few thoughts.
- God knew they ate the fruit before He ever confronted them. He is omnipresent = everywhere, omniscient = all knowing, and omnipotent = all powerful. Clearly, He knew the whole scene was going down as it was happening. Why didn't He stop them?
- God called out to Adam first. Why not Eve? Could it be that Adam was the responsible party? Was he, perhaps, placed in authority over Eve? Hmmm ...
- God punishes Adam not only for eating the fruit, but also for allowing himself to be persuaded to do so by his wife. (another hmmm...) Could it be that God's plan is for the wife to submit to her husband, and NOT for the husband to submit to his wife?
Friday, February 11, 2011
Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)
Submission is probably one of the most controversial subjects in the Bible, especially in today's culture of "feminism," where women are encouraged to be equal to men in every way.
When I look at this verse it gives me great peace to know that God has laid out for me a plan that lifts the cares of the world from my shoulders and stills my spirit.
When I studied this verse, just like any other verse, I broke it into parts.
Wives
Well, obviously Paul is addressing wives. NOT girlfriends, NOT daughters. He is specifically addressing wives, the people who have made a covenant with their husbands before God.
submit yourselves
The word "submit" means to place oneself under the authority of another. So wives are instructed to place themselves under the authority
unto your own husbands,
Many women misunderstand this phrase to mean that women must submit to men. WRONG. This only refers to one (1) wife and one (1) husband. Wives are being instructed here to submit to their own husbands.
Each husband is unique in his specific needs and wants, and every wife must place herself under the authority (submission to) her own husband. She must not concern herself with what most other husband want, nor should she concern herself with what other wives do or don't do. She must concern herself with her own husband and her submission to him.
as unto the Lord.
"As" means in the same manner. Simply put, wives must submit to their own husbands in the same way that they submit to the Lord. In other words, if I live my life under the authority of the Lord, then I must be under my own husband's authority, in the same way.
This caused me to take a very good look at my life and marriage, and the way I conduct myself. Good grief, I have been so wrong for so long. If the Lord God called me to do something, would I not obey Him? Then for goodness sake, why wouldn't I obey my own husband, who, being placed in authority over me by God, has asked me to do something?
And, by the way, I know a bunch of people who will disagree with me. Spare me your opinions, please. This is between me, my own husband, and our God. I will face the judgement seat of God and he alone will determine the extent of my obedience (or disobedience). I sure want Him to be happy with how I obeyed His instructions.
Submission is probably one of the most controversial subjects in the Bible, especially in today's culture of "feminism," where women are encouraged to be equal to men in every way.
When I look at this verse it gives me great peace to know that God has laid out for me a plan that lifts the cares of the world from my shoulders and stills my spirit.
When I studied this verse, just like any other verse, I broke it into parts.
Wives
Well, obviously Paul is addressing wives. NOT girlfriends, NOT daughters. He is specifically addressing wives, the people who have made a covenant with their husbands before God.
submit yourselves
The word "submit" means to place oneself under the authority of another. So wives are instructed to place themselves under the authority
unto your own husbands,
Many women misunderstand this phrase to mean that women must submit to men. WRONG. This only refers to one (1) wife and one (1) husband. Wives are being instructed here to submit to their own husbands.
Each husband is unique in his specific needs and wants, and every wife must place herself under the authority (submission to) her own husband. She must not concern herself with what most other husband want, nor should she concern herself with what other wives do or don't do. She must concern herself with her own husband and her submission to him.
as unto the Lord.
"As" means in the same manner. Simply put, wives must submit to their own husbands in the same way that they submit to the Lord. In other words, if I live my life under the authority of the Lord, then I must be under my own husband's authority, in the same way.
This caused me to take a very good look at my life and marriage, and the way I conduct myself. Good grief, I have been so wrong for so long. If the Lord God called me to do something, would I not obey Him? Then for goodness sake, why wouldn't I obey my own husband, who, being placed in authority over me by God, has asked me to do something?
And, by the way, I know a bunch of people who will disagree with me. Spare me your opinions, please. This is between me, my own husband, and our God. I will face the judgement seat of God and he alone will determine the extent of my obedience (or disobedience). I sure want Him to be happy with how I obeyed His instructions.
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