The Five Senses of Being His Wife: Taste

This is part 5 of 5 in my series The Five Senses of Being His Wife.

What does the sweat on his cheek taste like?  Or his tears after he hears some devastating news?  How do his kisses taste when he first hops into bed?  Have you given him this part of you?  Why are you holding back? 

Intimacy - true intimacy - must be just that.  Intimate.  Lew (husband) is not the kind who will go around demanding that I taste his feet.  Ahhh, but when I decide to kiss my way down his leg and pay attention to his feet, tasting each toe, nibbling his ankles, he becomes a different man.  When I taste his neck, his belly, his thighs, his penis ... I get from him a more intimate husband.  He wants to open up to me more and more.  He is more grateful, more loving. 

I believe God designed him that way.  I believe we as wives are meant to love our husbands with everything we've got.  All five of our senses. 

... to love their husbands ....

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
(Titus 2:4-5)
  
Really?  

When Paul wrote this letter to Titus I'm sure he was specifically addressing the little old ladies of the church when he wrote the above verses.  Those ladies didn't have any hang ups when it came to talking about marriage, submission, or sex.  

They were instructed to teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children, to be keepers of their homes, and to obey (yes, O-B-E-Y) their husbands.

My eyes were opened a while ago when Lew (husband) let me know that I was falling short in some areas.  That's when I went openly and honestly to my Titus 2 lady - a woman who isn't ashamed to talk to me in plain language about any thing (and I mean anything).

But as I keep considering the verses in Titus 2, I keep coming back to this thought:

To whom will I give such advice?

The answer came to me recently in a most frightening and eye-opening way.

Lew (husband) had been getting all lovey-dovey for a few days, and had tried several times to get me to go upstairs with him (*wink, wink*).  I kept putting him off, saying that I couldn't spend time with him because there was just too much work to do.  I had to finish the washing the dishes and vacuuming the carpets.  Then there was still laundry to be folded and emails to check.  

One of the girls said to him, "Yeah, Dad.  Get in line.  There's more important stuff than you, ya know!"

... oh, dear ...

That is how I have taught the younger women (my own girls) to love their husbands.

I've shown them (quite well, in fact) that husbands ...
  

• are a low priority (lower on the the list than almost everything else). 
• shouldn't expect their wives to do anything for them. 
• should be okay with waiting a long, long time for sex. 
• are just children who must be controlled by their wives. 
• must do all the work around the house that their wives don't feel like doing. 
• should lead their families the way their wives see fit. 
• must never do anything their wives disagree with.  
• must put up with tantrums whenever their wives are unhappy.

These are the things this Titus 2 woman has taught the younger women (my own daughters) about how to love their husbands. Just by watching their mother, my girls have picked up on my attitude toward Lew, and my rebellion against God.  And because their mother lives her life this way they believe it is the right thing to do.

... oh, dear ...

I have a lot of work to do and a lot of forgiveness to ask for.

 
  
 

The Five Senses of Being His Wife: Touch

This is part 4 in a series about the five senses of loving our husbands. 

I don't know about you, but when Lew (husband) touches me it still sends me into orbit.  So much so that I sometimes find it hard to concentrate.  Of course some areas are much more sensitive than others.  For example, when he touches the nape of my neck or strokes my cheek I go crazy and want to take him straight to bed.

It reminds me of how much my hubby loves to be touched.  Of the five love languages, physical touch is his number one.  And I don't mean just a touch on his shirt sleeve.  I'm talking skin-to-skin contact.  He likes me to touch his arm (his actual arm).  He wants me to massage his back.  This is how he most feels loved; reverenced.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.  (Ephesians 5:33)

So I reverence my husband in the way I touch him?  Do I treat his body as a wondrous gift from God?  A gift that should be revered by me rather than pushed away?  Do I touch him the way he wants to be touched or do I touch him only in ways I want to touch him?

I'm afraid I'm often guilty of the latter.  I really must get my act together and learn to love my husband the way my  husband requires.

The Five Senses of Being His Wife: Smell

 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? (1 Corinthians 12:17)


What is your husband's scent?  I don't mean cologne or aftershave, but what is his natural scent?  Are you familiar with it? 

When animals choose a mate in the wild, they do so partly by scent.  One reason for this is so that if anything should happen to any of their other senses they will be able to identify safety in the scent of their mate. 

What does your husband's ear smell like?  What about his hands?  His neck?  His stomach?  Feet?  Penis?  Do you ever take a deep breath and soak in the aroma of his hair?  It's unique to him and only him.  He should know your scent as well.

On another note (and to get away from bodily aroma for a moment), is there a scent that hubby enjoys?  Are there ways you can be a better wife  by using these scents?  Does he like the scent of fresh baked pie?  Does he go wild for a certain perfume?  What areas of your body does he tend to smell?  Does he ever breathe deeply and take in all the aromas of you?

I believe God created us to love our husbands with our full beings, and that includes our noses.  We are naturally sensitive to certain aromas and are attracted to our husbands partly because of the way they smell. 

Make sure you know the scent of your man.  Breathe it in.  Appreciate it.  When he's gone, you'll wish you could hold on to it (and him) forever.

The Five Senses of Being His Wife: Sound

This is the second post in my series about the fives senses.  Today I want to explore the sense of sound and how it relates to my role as my husband's wife.

Do I listen to Lew (husband)?  I mean really listen?   What does he actually mean when he says we should have pie more often?  (Hint: He probably likes pie.) What does it mean when he says he's going to take a shower before bed?  Or when he compliments the way I look in my new sweater? Do I hear what my beloved is saying in the background of his words?

Am I aware of the sounds he makes on a daily basis?  What do his little sighs, moans, and groans mean?  As his wife, I should know.  I should be enough of a student to at least know how to read the man I married.

Okay, so here's the other side of the coin.

What is he hearing?  What sounds do I make for him to hear?  Do my word build him up or tear him down?
Does he hear me speaking loving words to him, or does he hear mostly complaining and nagging? 

Lord, please help me to hear my husband.  Not just his words, but the heart behind his words.  Help me be a student of him and know him in a way that will bless him. I want to build my house and not tear it down.  Help me use words that will help my husband.  Please let him hear uplifting messages from me.  This I pray in Jesus' name.

The Five Senses of Being His Wife: Sight

God has gifted us with five senses with which we go about our daily walk.  If we are walking with a spouse, these five senses are even more important.  We need to use these gifts in our marriages on a daily basis, loving and knowing our spouses in every way possible.

This subject is too important to limit to one post.  It warrants an expanded view of each sense as it relates to the holy union of marriage.

Sight:  

How do you look at your husband?  Do you gaze through a filter that sees all his mistakes and flaws?  All the ugliness that disappoints you and causes you to look at him with disgust?  Or do you through the lens of our Heavenly Father, as a human being who has been fearfully and wonderfully made, in the image of God Himself?

The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. (Luke 11:34)

The sense of sight is so important in the marriage relationship and not just on the surface. I need to see my husband with a clear eye, not a dirty one.  I must see him as God sees him.  God sees every square inch of him.  He knows the birthmarks on the folds in my husband's skin.  He knows exactly where the red bump is on his inner thigh.  He knows the itchy spot on his head (and his other itchy spots).  I must know why he laughs and why he cries.  I must know why he wakes up in the wee hours of the morning and can't go back to sleep. 

Do I know these things?  Am I aware of the details of my husband, inside and out, or would I rather not get into the nitty gritty of actually "knowing" physically, intellectually, sexually and spiritually, the man whom God Himself chose for me.   Do I take the time to look at him - really look at him - every square inch?  Do I know how big that mole was last week?  Do I really know what all of his many parts look like?  Have I taken the time to see him? Am I too ashamed to look?  Am I afraid to really examine him? Why?

On the flip side, do I allow myself to be open to my husband's eyes?  Do I allow him to see me outside and inside?  Is he able to look at my most deeply personal wrinkles and crevices, or do I put a halt to his efforts?   

Wives, today I urge you to pray that God will open your eyes to your husband's physical being.  Pray that you will begin exploring him with your eyes and really get to know his body.

He's watching me do THAT???

Some facts about God just blow me away.  I’ve always known that God is everywhere, even in the smallest details.  As a kid I learned that He’s watching me and taking care of me and that He wants what’s best for me.  

Recently I had an awesome and somewhat frightening little “a-ha!” moment about God and his everywhere-ness.  It happened while I was serving Lew (husband) by doing something deeply personal and intimate (I think you can guess) that he deeply desires and loves. 

While I was busy serving my hubby the Holy Spirit got a hold of me and whispered in my ear, “Your husband is well pleased with you, and so is your Heavenly Father.” 

Wow!  I never really stopped to think about it, but it’s true.  When the hubby and I are naked and unashamed, God is there.  When we’re naked and one of us is ashamed (mostly me), He is there.  When I dive in and explore sex with abandon, He is there.  When I rationalize all the reasons not  to release myself to sexual abandon, He is there. 

I’ve blogged previously about God’s whereabouts and that He’s always watching and always with us, but this dimension adds a bit more depth to my understanding of exactly how involved God is in our lives. 

Everything I do and every excuse I have, God is either pleased or displeased with me. 

What about you?  Is God please with the details of your life?  Your marriage?  Your thoughts and excuses? 

Does He like the level of intimacy you’ve built with your husband? 

If not, what are you going to do about it?