The Heart Of Her Husband - Proverbs 31:11

Every so often I dabble with the idea of being a Proverbs 31 woman.  I mean, it is the ultimate goal as a Christian wife, isn't it?  She's the crown jewel of wives, the woman every man wants and every woman wants to become.  So, armed with that knowledge, I press on toward my goal (at least one of them) of becoming a better wife by studying the 31st chapter of Proverbs.

As I was reading recently I felt a tug on my heart as I pondered this verse.

The heart of her husband trusteth in her, And he shall have no lack of gain.  (Proverbs 31:11)

Okay, so it was more like a shovel to the face than a tug on the heart.  I must have read this chapter a bazillion times without once realizing my husband had anything to do with me and Proverbs 31.  Apparently he does have something to do with it ...quite an important something.

You see, this woman's husband trusts her from the deepest part of himself.  His heart actually feels trust in her. Wow.


What about my husband's heart?  Does his heart feel the same trust in me?  Have I done the things it takes to earn this kind of trust?  Have I been this kind of woman? 

In my mind this verse goes far more deep than mere trust.  It demands a high calling of me - it charges me with the care of my husband's heart.  My husband has a heart for God and His kingdom.  If his heart doesn't trust in me ... wow.  Just wow.


It causes me to think ... really think.  What kind of relationship does Lew (husband) have with me?  Does he trust me enough to share everything?

No.  I'm afraid not.

He often refrains from sharing what is on his heart.  Perhaps it's because of his pledge as a Christian husband to sacrifice for me, or perhaps it's because he's afraid of my reaction, as my past reactions have been less than nice.  Perhaps he has just given up trying to share his heart because of the way I disrespect him with my snide little comments. 


You see, when left to my own devices I tend to be selfish.  I want my house a certain way.  I want to sit and do what I want to do, often having no idea what he is doing to keep the household going.  Then I sweep through the family and rip everyone to pieces when everything isn't exactly right. When he disagrees with me I either shout at him or cry.  No wonder his heart doesn't feel safe enough to trust me.

Add to that the biting comments and put downs, and you have a carefully crafted disaster.  I hear myself saying these awful things to him, but he never strikes back. 

He is a wonderful husband.  I am his wife.  I should work harder to provide an atmosphere in which his heart can trust in me.

Help-Meet or Hinderance

I wonder sometimes if I am truly a help meet to my husband, Lew.  I know there are areas where he is frustrated and he needs me to help him.  I was given to him, not the other way around. Therefore it is my job to help him in any way I can.

Many times I don't help him.  Instead, I put off, avoid, and argue.  I do many things, but I do not help.

What is my problem??

Why don't I help my husband?  Why do I hinder him in so many ways?

The fact is if I help him ...

• he will be happier.
• he will be less likely to look outside the marriage for "certain" kinds of help.
• I will be obeying the Lord.

I have to get my act together and do my job.  I am the help meet.

Proverbs 14:1 - Am I A Builder?

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. (Proverbs 14:1)

This verse is on my agenda right now. I can't help but question whether I'm a builder of my house or a tearer-downer. 

I have a confession to make.  Sometimes my family gets on my nerves.  Yeah, I know.  It's hard to imagine that someone as patient and content as I am could say something like that.

I know deep down in my heart that much of the problem lies within me.  I'm selfish.  My selfishness prevents me from building my house.  I'm too busy building my hobbies, my reading list, my Facebook community (ahem), playing my games (ummm ... Yes, GardenDesign 4.0 is a game just like GuitarHero.  Maybe not as action packed or so called "stupid," but it is a game nonetheless, and I spend far too much time indulging myself into the wee hours), and on and on.  My husband and family need me to build my house by doing some things ...

Cooking and cleaning (hubby does his share as well, believe me)
Raising children,
Loving my husband,
Teaching younger wives,
Keeping my finances in order.

There are others for sure, but these were at the top of my head and the tip of my fingers.

I should be doing these things instead of getting lost for hours and hours on the computer or in a good book without any idea what's going on around me.

And speaking of a Good Book, what about when I spend all day researching Bible topics and I don't pay attention to anything around me?  Not the kids, not the meals, not the husband, not anything?  Am I sinning then?  Am I tearing down my house?

Ouch.

I do that ALL THE TIME.

I better pay more attention to how I go about my day.  I have to heed the Word of God and build up my house rather than tear it down with my own hands like a fool.